Best I can tell you, just be confident. I know it's easy to say, less to make it happen... But you see yourself as a handsome man, so there is a big building block! Good luck to you, and hope you stick around. Watch some of PW's castings if you want some ideas how to talk with girls

rafale wrote: Grossemite, I can tell you do just fine with the ladies, anyway. You are well spoken and with good humor.

I very don't, actually, but I'm cool with it, it's my fault. As I explained somewhere else, for more than two years I've been over-eating, over-drinking, doing no sport, wearing always the same old washed up clothes, paying absolutely no attention to my look whatsoever. The ladies don't even have to reject me, I spare them the time by not even trying, not by fear of being rejected, but simply by lack of motivation. I don't have any desires, I don't have any plans. I work (70 to 90 hours a week), I get hammered, alone or with friends, that's pretty much it.

I know it's a shitty life, looking from the outside, but I really can't tell I'm unhappy, I laugh a lot, I'm never depressed. I know eventually I'll want out, go back to my pair of runnings, eat some vegetables, get some clothes and a new haircut, and maybe talk to a shrink for a while, before going back to the love market (and yes before that it worked perfectly fine, thank you!) but right now I'm fine as I am.

My point is I have no problems telling any of this and laugh about it, I think honesty is better than make up a fake life full of women as some people here seems to do, but it has to be just a tool for someone to show off by spreading little lame undermining jokes, then my answer to him is (as I read on a blog!): "Fuck you 500,000 times. Please very aggressively lick the folds of my aging scrotum."

Je suis pas facilement vexable, mais y'a quelque chose dans sa manière forcenée de faire son intéressant aux dépends des autres qui m'énerve (et ça m'énerve quelle que soit la personne dont il se moque, sauf que je viens pas pourrir les topics si ça me concerne pas)

Mon Dieu quel pavé...c'est bon j'ai raconté ma vie pour dix ans là...

Non au contraire, tu t'es laché et parfois ça fais du bien de dire ce qu'on a sur le coeur !

PW

Grossemite wrote:The ladies don't even have to reject me, I spare them the time by not even trying, not by fear of being rejected, but simply by lack of motivation. I don't have any desires, I don't have any plans. I work (70 to 90 hours a week), I get hammered, alone or with friends, that's pretty much it.

I understand you, I did thins for some time (well, not the overeating and drinking part so much), but just work all the time, nothing else in my life. I was in this state when I met my love, actually. I was annoyed, at first, when he was so persistent, because I was not interested in a relationship and I didn't want to be bothered from my routine.

The important thing, you are content with yourself. If you were depressed or unhappy, I would be concerned, but if you are living as you choose, and have no regret, who can judge your decisions? Still, my point holds true - you do fine with the ladies, when you choose it. Plus even in this post, you come across not as some pathetic man, but with a confidence - you know who you are, and you make no apologies. You are not so much trapped in any situation, but are in control and have chosen your situation. You own it, rather than it owning you.

You know, some women really like smart men that act as they do not care... it's a fascination... Tell me, Grossemite, are you hairy, too?

Hello Rafale, the same we think the same way especially on the "hairy"

We should call this post "the Tragedy of Being Handsome".

Pirateguy, it would be nice if being a handsome man would get you as far as being a beautiful woman. But, it just doesn't work that way. Most successful men either in business or with women are less than handsome, because they had to come up with something that works for them, to compensate for their lack of good looks. It's funny, but the more good looking you are, the more self conscious you become, instead of confident. And when you are self conscious, you focus on yourself instead of the girl. In case you haven't noticed, the girl should always come first, both in public and in bed.

Tell me, do you have a sense of humor? Do you have enough energy in your voice to keep the girl from falling asleep? Do you talk with her more about herself or about school and other things?

I have phobia when talking to girls for the first time so usually I mess up with the first impression. It really makes it difficult for me to approach girls. I'm always practicing with girls and I find that I improve with each time. But when I stop for a while it gets back again. Maybe you have a similar issue?

Neptune, that's what happens to every man when approaching a woman. Even if you have approached 1000, you still have some fear, or nervousness I shall say. It's much easier to approach a woman if you are in the same situation (such as a business conference) than to approach a woman who happens to walk past you on the street, because you have an excuse.

So, what makes you nervous is the fact that you don't have an excuse to approach her, and the fact that you don't know what to say to her once you are done with the formalities. And, that makes the conversation awkward. If you owned a modelling or clothing company, you would have none of these issues, because you could approach any beautiful stranger woman with the right excuse: a job offer.

TheThinker wrote:Pirateguy, it would be nice if being a handsome man would get you as far as being a beautiful woman. But, it just doesn't work that way. Most successful men either in business or with women are less than handsome, because they had to come up with something that works for them, to compensate for their lack of good looks. It's funny, but the more good looking you are, the more self conscious you become, instead of confident.

This is a brilliant observance.

The Thinker,

I have noticed that some people (I know) don't have this issue. They don't get nervous because they don't care if they get rejected. They have none of this fear. I really don't know how they became numb. They are so lucky! Also, I think approaching a girl like you mentioned is kind of abusing your job and the girl. Even if you manage to hitch the girl it won't be genuine.

It's funny how this post is developing. It reminds me of this book I read (The Game, Neil Strauss) where they actually created groups in forums dedicated to fix that problem in men (hooking up)