Maya Bensinger wrote: ↑Sat Dec 31, 2022 10:45 am
Well, it happened! I still can’t believe I did it.
None of it (phone calls, flight, initial dinner, etc.) felt real until … well … until Pierre took me to another room and turned the camera on.
Off camera I didn’t perceive him as a dom. We had dinner the night before and breakfast the day of the shoot. I had no sexual energy whatsoever. He seemed very tired and distracted.
So when we walked into the room, I didn’t really how this would work. But the moment he turned on the camera, the whole energy changed. Everything changed.
He immediately established the dom-sub power dynamic. The way he looked at me, the way he used the camera to “scan” my body from head to toe … in this case from toe to head.
It felt like I was his target and there was no way I could escape him and whatever he had in mind for me.
That was intense! And I immediately turned on by it and drawn to him, which I wasn’t before he turned on the camera.
All of the sudden I really wanted to make sure he is happy with me and that I please him. I also started thinking about all the women he had interviewed before me and how he had all the power and I had none. I was completely at this mercy.
And so it began. It was way more intense and way more personal than I expected. In fact I didn’t expect it to feel personal at all. I thought I would simply go through this fantasy/scenario (on my own) while still maintaining some sort of distance from him (silly me). But no. He completed dominated me and I was willing to do anything for him. He made me wanna do anything and everything for him. It wasn’t my will. It was all his will. By the end of the shoot, I was his.
I’m still processing all of it and trying to understand my feelings …
Ask away. Talking about it will help me process it further.
Maya
